Forgiveness of Others and Ourselves on the Path of Personal and Spiritual Development
On the path of personal and spiritual development, the act of forgiveness is key to liberation and stepping out of the role of a victim. One must constantly forgive oneself and others. Forgiveness is an act of releasing resentment, anger, etc., as these poison us and drain our own life energy. We may wonder, how can I forgive someone for the harm and suffering they’ve caused me? How can I forgive myself for the choices I made in the past?
From a spiritual perspective, everything is and has been as it was meant to be. It couldn’t have been otherwise. Our soul seeks to grow, and every soul comes here to evolve, so in that moment, with that level of awareness, we couldn’t have acted differently, nor could the other person in relation to us. When we come into this world, we choose our parents, siblings, etc., long before, and we choose what we will learn from each other in this life. We were meant to show them something, and they to us. Thus, no one is a victim; we are all teachers and helpers for each other’s personal and spiritual development.
Forgiveness to Parents, Colleagues, etc.: How to Forgive Others?
How can I forgive my father or mother, who mistreated me or showed no interest in me, abandoned me emotionally, etc.? First of all, from the physical reality perspective, it’s worth looking at it from a broader perspective and considering why they are or were such people themselves. What was their childhood like—our father’s or mother’s (not to mention what their soul chose to heal)? What patterns did they repeat from their own parents? What difficulties did they face? What times did they live in?
It’s not about justifying them, but rather understanding that they didn’t know any better (and on a soul level, they couldn’t, because they had a role to play in our current incarnation). While someone in pain might say this is no excuse, perhaps it helps us to see that those individuals, in their own suffering, couldn’t have done any better and gave us what they could at that time, with their level of awareness. From a spiritual point of view, everything is and has been as it should be.
Forgiving Yourself: How to Forgive Yourself?
Forgiving oneself is just as important as forgiving others. Forgiving oneself also involves taking responsibility for oneself and one’s actions. It’s stepping out of the role of the victim and understanding that no one is the perpetrator, and no one is the victim—we are all learning. It’s taking responsibility for the words we’ve said, for the actions we’ve committed when we were distant from our true self, from our authentic “I am,” when we were in pain and trauma.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Thanks to the lessons and experiences, we have grown, and we can always remind ourselves when the universe presents us with a similar or the same lesson, testing us, that we’ve already gone through it and don’t need to enter the same cycle again. Forgiveness means freeing oneself from resentment and the desire for revenge, for our own peace of mind. Forgiveness does not mean that we must now spend time with that person or renew contact; it means we stop dwelling on the wrong done and change our thoughts about it. Acceptance.
Daily work with Reiki energy and Angels helps us cleanse our chakras and aura, thus supporting us in the process of forgiveness.
I particularly recommend the book on this subject: Radical Forgiveness by Colin C. Tipping.
Forgiveness: A Short Mantra:
Today, I forgive myself for allowing others to belittle and demean me. Today, I forgive myself for hurting others. Today, I forgive myself for not loving and respecting myself enough to say “no” when my dignity and self-respect were being stripped away. Today, I forgive myself for hurting others due to my own pain. Today, I forgive my parents, siblings, friends, teachers, coworkers, colleagues, spouse, children, and family for… In the name of … (depending on beliefs… Angels, Jesus Christ …), today, I forgive myself and everyone else, and I free myself from the past.
